if i leave here tomorrow.

the thing is; when you are here
you are completely, utterly, & above all undeniably;
to it all like honey like glue
it's sweet but you just want something with a bite
trapped but clearly you've figure it out,
it's just an adhesive,
check your maps;
jetset, do whatever you've got to do &


oh la monde

(bucket list, things to do before the bitter end, etc.)

to live a long life and fill page after page "de livres"
to cross out all the markings on my map & be able to say to myself fully/contently, without evidence of boast
"i have been there. & here is a novel to prove such events."


know her.

"We would study ourselves in this evolving portrait. It made us secretly competitive. One became more beautiful, or reclusive, one became more self conscious, or anarchic. We were revealed and betrayed by our poses. "

a look into the mirror always comes as a shock to me. who is that girl i see. she is but a mirage in a mirror. the sight of myself is such a numbing state. but i'll never let myself evolve to the paralysis of vanity. a glance is enough to know that i know me, and i don't need to adjust, re-adjust, all i've got to do is quicktrust.