not quite what i was looking for
but i was never one to close a door
i prefer ajar
much much more

time out

be yourself;
speak
write
&
live your own words
don't drownout in
the adjectives and verbs
of someother clever girl's.

the best a man can get.

just because you can grow a mustache, doesn't make you a man.

i could be her.
but i don't want to be that seethruyou kinda girl.
i'll make promises & i won't break a single one.

just watch me.

how i'd like to say "good night".

age wonderously/ ageless wonder

her eyes tell you she has years behind her
yet her flawless skin and effortless beauty
tell you lies
sweet, sweet lies.

all that they entail

reflections;
what you've lost
what's become of you
& what's next

lucid little forest creatures
never sleep
we won't sleep

would you look at this illuminating gem?

“my whole life has been decided by fate.”
that couldn't be any truer.


why does the world choose to destroy all that is beautiful and innocent
...
and thrive to reproduce what is ugly and cruel?

her-"oh my, i think i've left the place i meant to stay!"
(a great pause occurs)
*hum hum hum*
her-"sir, i beg you please turn around."
him-"no can do miss, looks like your stuck in this town."
her-"i do suppose you're quite right, carry on then."
*he continues humming*
i promise ill come back;
in thoughts.
at least for now.

(a collection and recollection of thoughts)

the sea may lull me.

we're just two in a sea of stars

let me sail to the calmest of seas, to the island where birds of paradise are the reflection in my eyes.
when life is all around life is me life is you
then it's true you're the spectacle of the deep blue

the ocean spits mist, so i'll;
swallow the tide, always take what is mine. left to find the breath i need the air, you’re my lungs. hold me up don’t press me down, can’t face the possibility that in this ocean i could drown.

welcoming winter.

well let's just say that i've

never enjoyed a winter's night
if it were to remain just a mist
well then i might.
there is no fear this year.

fellows & dears stay tuned, there is no way i'm staying cooped up in here.

want to be a cat?

thomas o' mally baby, yeah. smooth talkin', walkin' kinda guy, you might just be the cat's meow.

let it go

what i like best is when i can see the soul of the artist spilt into his (her) work. when you've been crying, i want to see the tears in form of your words. if life brings you glee, i want to see balloons of paint & splashes of merry-go-rounds.

let me see your life.

somewhere, we all lost it.

what may I ask happened to this type of guy? why did the real "tough guy" look disappear and get replaced with ed hardy t-shirts and pierced ears. you look like a wuss. take some tips, from real men, real guys like these.

take me to the dance hall, not whiskey dix.

to achieve classic and flawless style, see James Dean.

i'm not speaking for myself, however i'm just rather concerned for the general public.

women should aspire for something other then to look like a model from from the next guess? ad, or nylon's increasingly downhill take on fashion and matching things together that, well just don't match. you will probably end up looking like trash if you try this look.

oh, and stop thinking you are some sort of fashion queen, when really you just have shitty style and hair and you were "inspired" a.k.a copied someone else completely. no "scratching your head", "oh, my...how did i accidently get here, in the middle of this field in this cute dress and heels?" get your own fucking wardrobe ideas. oh, and a brain would be a necessary accessory.

so, ladies; either polish up or grunge down. because looking like everyone else = looking like trash.

strive to be:

effortlessly flawless.

not full of flawed effort.

fascinate

holy night of hell.

bath candles.

zylo phone.

fixtures here & there.

mayo

$5.99

end.

when i grow up;

i might just want to be her.

with the seasons changes; my life has changed tenfold. what will winter's snow blow my way? spring's sweet sweet birds, what will they sing to me? & when the blueberries are in bloom, will i get the just the juiciest ones? i can not ask such questions, i must be patient. i must be kind. i don't know how but i know all the goods of the earth are coming my way; but i will soon; in time.

my life feels like remnants of a pre-teen diary.

skipseasons

i have no time for skeptics
so if you are one;
consider yourself lost &
forgot

hear this now.

it's all i want

&

have to say

this the only worthwhile thing found upon pages and pages of cursive writing

all the things i thought i wanted,

every last one

in an absorbant yet steady decline for 

status "none"

goodbye in a solid solitary fall of the lunar moon

& rise of the insightful sun

in the bittersweet morning time

i will know what is truely mine

stay with me stay.

The thoughts count more than cost, and I like you for all I've got.

...

this is how i've wanted it to go all along.

if i leave here tomorrow.

the thing is; when you are here
you are completely, utterly, & above all undeniably;
stuck
to it all like honey like glue
it's sweet but you just want something with a bite
trapped but clearly you've figure it out,
it's just an adhesive,
so;
check your maps;
jetset, do whatever you've got to do &
go.

oh la monde

wishes;
(bucket list, things to do before the bitter end, etc.)

to live a long life and fill page after page "de livres"
to cross out all the markings on my map & be able to say to myself fully/contently, without evidence of boast
"i have been there. & here is a novel to prove such events."

know her.

"We would study ourselves in this evolving portrait. It made us secretly competitive. One became more beautiful, or reclusive, one became more self conscious, or anarchic. We were revealed and betrayed by our poses. "

a look into the mirror always comes as a shock to me. who is that girl i see. she is but a mirage in a mirror. the sight of myself is such a numbing state. but i'll never let myself evolve to the paralysis of vanity. a glance is enough to know that i know me, and i don't need to adjust, re-adjust, all i've got to do is quicktrust.

watch it all go down

i've felt like such a god damn imbecile for far too long. finally i decided to prop myself up, and head on out. been cooped up like a bird gone mad, habitat all wrong. it's not so often i will say about things with as much passion behind it all but; "i'm glad i left, i don't intend on coming back."

nose in vogue
tongue knotted
empty wardrobe
slight mistakes
won't fight;
fate

itty bitty kitty ditties

Rupert the cat rang a brass bell for his mice
and enjoyed them with toast points
and vodka on ice.

love/thank-you wife.

lazy day wander/wonder

"mon petite oignon."
& hopelessly she tries;
to resist.

Walt on Behavior

"The effects of the universe no greater than its;
For there is nothing in the whole universe that can be more effective
than a man's or woman's daily behavior can be,
In any position, in any one of These States."

After observing the behaviors and chemical imbalances in numerous beings; and I shall not exclude my self for this matter either, I've come to recognize just these three keys to open the door to explore but not the shadowed side of the globe, but the brighter side, one I did not quite know.

one. sarcasm scares people
two. calm voices scare people
three. moving on and letting go scares off the worst of the worst people most

cure me, i'm so curiously tempted to know you
kick some stones crack some bones;
my actions go unbeknown
just trying to find the right kind of dose

every day is like today.

left with empty pots and no soil
here i am;
with wants,
"i want to know how to grow, and just
how does a bud bloom?"
you say:
"you'll need the sun,
and you must wait through the rain storms."
"i'll wait for all of time,
if this is what it takes,
to make a flower true;
bloom."

here and now.

I'm content with living the quiet life, thank you.

one eye know.

i'm use to iron eyes
so far gone; the only reflection, lies.
but your eyes? ideal.
vivid & alive; like an in bloom olive tree.

hold back/ don't walk to fast.

from here & on;
it's all a cakewalk.

you long for me, but i'm short with you.

you recite their names so drunkenly rehearsed, just like the backwards alphabet.

and incase you haven't quite yet guessed;
i'm cutting ties with people like you.
life is too short to have "your kind of fun".

transfixed

I could cut back on all thet things that me me sick but what's the fun in life when you quit?

finding good things in an old book.

who knew.

and some people meet like meteors, crashing together; a collision of romance endlessly, either they sparkle on for light-year after light-year, or they collapse; falling to the basement of the universe to remain unmarked existent "now" and ready for the other worlds to come.

strange weather it seems..

as i lean to see
a tipping tree
swinging slowly
cast off, summer bound
thoughts lay tranquil
in the March air
i can't believe l'histoire
amazed that your still not quite there

exactly what i want

travel the world til' i'm old and grey, doesn't matter where i go, and lesser where i'll stay.

i thought i'd quit keeping tab.

in love with what's going on in my mind. i'm in the deepest of daydreams, but i'm still awake, no worries.

#11

I wish now I was leaving, rather than "be leaving". I can't believe never even dreamed of doing anything like this it's so relieving.

I will count down the days and ways I'm going to get to another place.

#10

1) before i leave i hope to know i'm putting trust in the right people, and that i'm not fucking wasting my time with complete imbeciles

2) that maybe, my days will not be filled with useless drama

3) and if its even possible, that i may enjoy the last bit of time i have here




....yeah right.

#9

"nothing here but my own tragic hands that once were guarded by a world, a sweet attention."

#8

lately i've been wondering where it really is. i've found the answer, and quite simply it is i've got to stop asking "what ifs" and just live live live. because i'm not going to find it if i'm looking for it, i'm not going to find it in a new pair of shoes, in the glove box of a new car, i'm not going to find my dream, my destiny, nor anything if i'm goddamn searching so hard for it, i've got to let it sit, let the world give, but in the meantime i'll just live.

"No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you
And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you
And it ain't in no cardboard-box house
Or down any movie star's blouse
And you can't find it on the golf course
And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus
And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes
And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons
And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices
That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin'
Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin
Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow
Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry
When you can't even sense if they got any insides
These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows
No you'll not now or no other day
Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache."


Excerpt from Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie, Bob Dylan.

#7

get up get up, gettup and go go, goback try to but can't goback to sleep.

#6

babe, you're causing me trouble and i'm not into it one bit.

#5

i want to live as/ be/ remain who i am today, over and over and over forever, never changing never stopping always going always leaving living creating something new seeing something different always talking avoiding the clock counting days but avoiding dates never settled always set to go someplace somehow sometime soon i'll be gone from this city, i'll be gone from you.

#4

i'm wanting/ going to pack up all my belongings...

and get the fuck out of winnipeg.

#3

1) I resolve to write more, alot more.

#2

"I have somewhere surely, lived a life of joy with you. all is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured." -Ezra Pound.







to no one in particular; I'm glad that I've met you.
last year, yesterday, tomorrow and years to come.
let's make every moment together worth it,
& i'll try to do just the same.
here's to a new year, new faces, and new places.